there is no place like home

I was just discharged and I'm now at my parents. The tumor has been removed. It does appear to be a met but still waiting on full path. This was very hard to hear, as I always had hope it was benign. But the initial look does look like rhabdo, but I will just have to be patient and wait until about Jan 9.

Feeling fuzzy, will update more later.

Twas the night before surgery...

Of course I should be sleeping but I'm so nervous! Mel and I had a great date night. I had the most delicious lobster tail and oysters and creme brule. I decided to eat every single thing I wanted. Just had my last delicious sips of water and now I am npo until tomorrow. I know I'm not really hungry right now but just thinking I can't eat and I'm already craving a snack.

Thank you all for the huge outpouring of love. I can feel it, I really can.

Merry Christmas!

Though my holiday looked completely different from what I had planned I'm still happy to report that we all had a great Christmas. I decided on Christmas eve that I was going to choose Joy. Just that simple. I was going to look around, see all the awesome in my life and be happy. And you know what friends, really wasn't hard at all! I have so much to be thankful for. My parents made a delicious dinner including fried turkey. I loaded up on food, napped then all of us, my family and in laws went to see a movie. It was really a pretty fun day we all had yesterday. And I got some reallly great presents, my favorite being a juicing book from sister I plan to read during my recovery. Thanks Camille!

I am up early trying to get prepped for surgery tomorrow. Reading some hospital info, getting a bag packed. In a few hours my honey will be taking me to get my hair done from my favorite stylists who has been so gracious to come in on her off day to make me pretty. Then we will be having a pre surgery date night and staying closer into town to make it easier to be up bright and early for surgery.

I'm so ready to get this thing out of my head tomorrow!!

Surgery is next Thursday!

Yesterday I met with my neuro surgeon. The tumor is in my right temporal lobe, cherry tomato size and is operable. Good news! It will be biopsied after. It of course may be metastsis from previous cancer but I'm still hopeful its benign.

I am feeling well. Little pain thanks to the sterioids but they do make me feel very off. Especially the anti seizure meds. They make me so tired. Appetite continues to be good, probably due to the steroids.

Tomorrow I will meet with cardio and anesthesia for pre op eval. A little annoyed by this because I was just cleared for surgery tomorrow- a few fun cosmetic procedures, which of course at this point are not happening. But I completely understand the need for the re evaluation.

In Houston

I am in Houston now. We arrived last night. I needed to get my ct/mri cds to Anderson. We could have overnight fed exed but hubby is a genius and felt we could beat fed ex plus we wouldnt risk them getting lost with all the holiday mail, so we drove down last night and dropped them off this morning. Well Mel drove. I still on seizure precautions until further notice. I have not had a seizure and am on seizure meds but of course better to be safe.

I feel a lot better than I did last week when I thought I had a sinus infection. My head doesn't hurt anymore thanks to the steroids but I do feel quite off. I'm not used to taking this much medicine.

 I went to bikram yoga yesterday. I was a little anxious because the doctor didn't think it was the best idea but as long as I promised to tell the teacher what was happening I was allowed. I felt so supported through class. Definitely wasn't my best class but I did it. My nausea and anxiety have decreased. Appetite continues to get better. I cant wait to get back to the hot room.

Tomorrow morning I will meet with neuro. Hoping to hear some good news.

Dissapointing News

I have been having off and on sinus infection symptoms since early 2011. They have always resolved with antibiotics ans/or steroids. Until theses last few weeks. I woke up on Thanksgiving day with a headache. Assumed it was sinus related and went to the doctor 3 days later and received antibiotics and steroids. After the course of antibiotics I didn't feel any better. Steroids helped but shortly after stopping them I felt worse. I received a different type of antibiotic from another doc. No improvement. On Friday night my head hurt so bad that my husband drove me to an urgent care facility. After a quick CT scan it was revealed that there is a tumor in my head. I was given some medication, steroids to help with the swelling and transferred by ambulance to a hospital nearby to be admitted to be stabilized. I was released today and will followup with doctors at MD Anderson on Wednesday. I am heart broken. I thought that 3 years was far enough out from the cancer to not have to worry about anything like this. Good news is that it is a solitary nodule, small and operable, possibly benign because it seems to be slow growing. It has possibly been there since 2011. While I am beyond disappointed and heartbroken I am still so blessed. A lot of people in the country got horrible news on Friday. When I got mine I got to be comforted by my wonderful husband. So many on Friday never got that hug from there loved ones. I have a good feeling about this. I just need some more time to adjust. I will keep everyone posted. Thank you for the the thoughts, prayers and positive energy. I feel it.

Stable CT scan

Yummy gumbo and bbq I had while at home. Can't get good versions of these in New England.

Last month I traveled to Houston for my 3 month chest ct scan. I am happy to report that my ct scan remains stable! I also saw my cardiologist and I am good from that standpoint too. It has been determined that the chest pain was musculoskeletal. I really think a lot of it was from anxiety too, because now that I know there is not a tumor causing the pain it's almost all gone away. This scan marked two years of stable ct scans so for the first time ever I have been moved from 3 month check ups to 4 months. One month may not sound like a lot but this is huge in the sarcoma world. I was happy and nervous all at this same time. This will be the longest time in almost 9 years I will go without seeing a doctor, but I'm ready for it. I've been waiting for this good news for a long time!