I want my weekend back!

I had a great Memorial weekend. The 3 days off were much needed. My days were filled with cooking, resting and movie watching. Mel and I attempted to go to Keyma on Saturday but he was on called and got paged so we only had enough time to quickly pick the chihuahua up and head back to the city.

Right after brunch at Baba Yega

And the weekend also included "someone" getting a hair cut. Needless to say he wasn't happy about the trip to Petco, but at least this time I wasn't called in early to pick him up for aggressive behavior towards the clippers and staff.

My doctor has decided to take a more aggressive approach against those spots in my lungs. He wants me to go for an assessment for RFA-radiofrequency ablation. Basically a needle like probe is put into the lung and the spot is burned. It doesn't sound fun and I think I'm officially stalling now in getting it done. Maybe in a few weeks. Maybe.

Is everyone pregnant? I think so. My friends cat even just had kittens. It's not that I want a baby right now, it's the thought of possibly never being able to have one that gets to me. Facebook is hard to look at these days. every time I get on someone is pregnant, someone is in labor, someone just had a baby.... It's not that I'm jealous or want to take this joy away from anyone, it's not even close to that. I just hope to have that same happiness too one day.

This time last year I felt like everyone was getting married, and now a year later I'm happy and dating a great guy. No wedding bells anytime soon, but I get the lesson.... things will, if they are supposed to, work themselves out.

One of those days....

Ugh.


I really need to blog more. No blogging and very little scrapbooking is making me have to remember to much. Will do better.



Busy day at work added on to not so much happy new from my oncoligist makes for a cranky girl.



The spot we were watching before is still there and hasn't grown-yay BUT there is a new thing that popped up. A new spot. It's very small so we will just wait six weeks for a rescan and then see what it does. Hopefully it will just sit there, but if it doesn't chemo/surgery/radiation are all options. I just hope I can still work, I really do enjoy my job.



It's crazy working and being treated at the same facility. Fellows (new doctors training in a certain specialty) train in several centers at Anderson. I have worked with a few. One that I have worked with before just happed to be in MY treatment center following MY doctor today. Nice. I don't want what I'm going through to be a secret but I'm not sure I want someone I might work with to know every juicy detail. It's cool though, no biggie. I hope he learned something from my case and can use it to benefit others he will help.



I have had a really great past few months. I'm so happy and physically I feel great. I know it's not the best I've ever felt but it sure does feel like. Maybe because I appreciate it now. I know what it's like to really feel like crap.



Sleep is the onl thing that can cure what I'm feeling now.... a mix of shock/anger/sadness/disgust. Oh and I'm sure this little guy could cure it. I need to get custody back from my parents.

oral chemo

I am now on oral chemo (etoposide). It is one of the same drugs that I was receiving through an IV from November to July. It is a lot easier now because I am just getting one drug not a cocktail, and I can take it at home. I should only have to go to Anderson every 3 weeks. I also do not feel nearly as bad as I did a few months ago. The nausea and fatigue are easily controlled with meds and naps. I will do this chemo until January. As of now I am still on medical leave from work. I want to complete the first round (21 days) and see what effect this kind has on my counts. If it drops them I will stay off work until I am done. The last thing I need is to catch an infection. I'm not thrilled about 4 more months of chemo but if it keeps me in remission then it's worth it. Since I am feeling better I will try to use some of my time off to travel. I'm looking forward to eating some fried cheese in Wisconsin with sister!

new heart, fresh start!

I feel brand new. The surgery is behind me and I have been at home recovering. The heart defect was successfully corrected and the tumor was removed with CLEAN MARGINS. This will most likely mean that I do not need radiation. I will not know for sure until I see my oncologist in 2 weeks. I feel pretty good. The pain is a lot less than what I was expecting. Because the sternum (chest bone) was cut I have to follow sternal precautions for 4 more weeks-no lifting anything over 5 pounds, no driving, no repetitive arm movements-basically I have to chill out for another month. My 2 week house arrest is up tomorrow (I had to stay at home for 2 weeks post op to avoid infection) so at least I can leave the house now.

Aug 11- Bye sister. She left to go back to Wisconsin. I am all alone again : (

Aug 10- Camille (sister) baked dark chocolate, white chocolate and coconut cookies. They were delish!

Aug 9- Had a few visitors at the house and I watched movies with their kids all day.

Aug 8- Some of the cards I received...thanks to everyone for the encouragement.

Aug 7-A cute little tree one of my dad's co-workers gave me.

Aug 6- Sister came home bearing the gift of Sprinkles.

Aug 5-This is in the early hours of the morning. I had to take a trip to the MD Anderson ER because I was dizzy with a temp. Some fluids and antibiotics made me all better.

August 4-(pic from spring 09) Happy Birthday Mom!!!!

Aug 3- The pillow I sleep with after chest surgeries. It is too uncomfortable to lay flat so I sleep sitting up.

Aug 2- The incision. The derma bond makes it look wider than what it really is. It is one of the nicest incision I have ever seen, it so thin. I am very pleased.

Aug 1- I was doing well so I was released from the hospital earlier than planned. My neighbors met me with balloons and warm muffins.

July 31- The chest tubes used to drain fluid from my chest after surgery. They were about to pull them out. I was pre medicated with morphine before they did this.

July 30-The drains attached to my chest tubes.

July 29-My platelets were too low for surgery so I was admitted to the ICU the morning of to get platelets before the operation.

July 28-The pretty flower art in the lobby of the hotel I stayed in the night before surgery.

the plan

My doctor, my parents and I had a detailed conversation this evening about the treatment plan. Chemo first for two rounds. One round will be 5 days of chemo, 2 weeks off. This will start Monday. I should be off the week of Christmas : ) I will get my central line put in tomorrow morning. I am strongly considering being pro active and donating my hair to locks of love before it starts to fall out. I just need to see if it's long enough. No need to waste it. It's going to go. It could at least go somewhere useful and not into my "save my hair" freezer bag I had last time. I will post pictures soon.